Summer 2016

This summer has been a busy one. I've been itching to do a new blog post for weeks now but couldn't find the time to do it. With me being back at work (since June), my Etsy shop and home reno's/projects - I have had zero time. Fraser and I brought our sweet Harper baby out for a "date" shortly after I returned to work. I wanted it to just be the three of us so we could focus all of our attention on just her. Ella stayed home with my mom - which apparently she appeared lost and didn't know what to do without her sister! We started the day off at Adventures on Wonderland where Harper played for a few hours. Afterwards, we ate lunch and went to a movie.

Harper literally loved every minute of it. She kept saying "I'm on a date with mommy and daddy" with a great big smile and giggle. She seriously melted our hearts over and over as she ran around laughing and smiling the entire time.

This little lady is seriously a ham. She is so fiery like her momma and quite the comedian like her father. She follows around her big sister all day everyday, wanting to do everything Harper does. If I do Harper's hair, she wants hers done. She looks up to Harper and it truly is amazing to witness. They are already best friends.

These two are definitely outdoor babies. If they could spend the entire day outside in the heat - they would. Their current favourite is to go for long walks in their wagon and ending up either at the park around our street or in the backyard splashing in the pool or water table.

Ella is the little fish out of the two of them. She has zero fear of water (or anything for that matter). She will stick her face right in it - where Harper would rather delicately play in the water.

This past August marked Fraser and mine's 12th year anniversary. TWELVE YEARS. When I think about it, I'm like "holy crap, have we really been together that long?!". But then I start thinking about the fact that we were just kids when we first started to date. And now we have babies and good jobs and a house and a dog......We're adults now. It's crazy how time flies and we've been loving every minute of it. Him and I have been through thick and thin. People always ask "do you guys ever fight?! You guys are too perfect!". We have our disagreements and small arguments but in the 12 years we have been together we've had maybe two big fights. One of which was in the last few years and it was surrounding a very tough subject for the both of us - and the crazy thing was that we weren't even upset with each other but actually someone else. We just didn't know how to handle it. So instead we took our frustrations out on one another. It was when we realized that, that we made the tough decision to keep someone out of our lives. And to be honest since then we have been happier. Sure, the situation still sucks and it's something we evaluate on a daily basis but we are HAPPY with our decision and a stronger couple for it. At the end of the day we know we have to do what feels right for us and what we feel is the best decision for us and our girls. 

I love this man to the moon and back and would do anything to make him happy. He deserves everything! We're now onto wedding plans for next summer. YIPPIE. We've been engaged for 5+ years and have had two babies since then. It will be a very small wedding, just liked we've always wanted and super intimate and I couldn't be more excited to start planning!

Although the girls love the heat and playing out in the sunshine - I could not be happier that Fall is right around the corner. Bring on the cooler weather and pretty fall leaves!

One big project we tackled this summer was our front porch. Fraser and my dad worked endlessly building this beast of a front porch. And although the front of the house is not finished  - it's so close to being done and we're so excited. Fraser and my dad slaved away for 6 whole days, battling the heat and rain - building the deck/porch. Fraser and I laid out the stones for the new gardens - while my dad generously gave us an entire garden of hosta's that were nice and big - AND even planted them all for me. Best.Dad.Ever. SO next summer I will plant some pretty flowers in the smaller portion that's in front of the porch. We still have to paint the door and siding next to the windows a dark grey. Fraser built me a beautiful wood mail box and new house number plaque that I need to paint and we will finally be done!

So although we didn't accomplish everything we wanted to do this summer - we got so much done and had a blast doing it! I cannot wait to see what Fall and Winter brings but I'm sure it will be amazing!

Emotional

These past few days have been rough. I've pretty much been crying off and on all week. I'm trying desperately to put a brave face on and have fun with the girls but the sadness eventually comes. The other day was beautiful and sunny so I brought the girls in their wagon to the park around the corner from our house. They had an absolute blast. Harper was so excited to go down the slides and to swing on the swings. Ella even loved going down the slide with my help of course. They both had the biggest smiles on their faces going down the slide.

Harper loved walking up and down the stairs like a big girl. She was so proud of herself that she could do it on her own.

She wasn't opposed to stopping to pose for me - she's pretty used to me always taking pictures of her!

Ella bells pretty much hung out with me for the most part since the climbers are surrounded by wood chips - there was no way I was putting her down so she could attempt to eat them, me and my OCD tendencies.

I attempted to put her in the baby swing but would not let her go, she is still so stinky tiny that she looks like she would flip right out of it. She wasn't a big fan anyways. Instead I took turns sitting the girls on my lap to swing on the big swing. Both loved it!

On the way home, Harper always likes to walk part of the way holding my hand, while we pull Ella in the wagon. She gets so excited to hold my hand which always makes me melt. 

Yesterday was especially emotional for me. Ella was having a rough day from the fact that she has two big teeth poking through the gums on the top. She was super attached and would scream out of no where in pain. She spent half of her nap time sleeping on my chest during which I quietly sobbed the entire time. It makes me sad that I won't be here to do that with her next week. If she's not feeling well, I won't be there to snuggle her to sleep. I won't be able to sooth her. 

I get excited about going back to work and then out of no where I'm so sad at the idea of it. Monday is going to be hard for me, I know it will be fine - that they will be fine - but I am going to miss them so much and will be looking forward to seeing them at the end of the day. 

The rest of this week is super busy with finishing up Etsy orders when the girls are in bed, finishing last minute things for Ella's birthday party on Saturday and organizing the house for my return to work. At the end of the day, as long as we are healthy and happy, everything else will works it's self out. There are people who are struggling with much harder things than the dreaded return to work - so I will suck it up and get things done!

Returning to Work

Firstly, can we take a moment to appreciate all the cuteness that is Ella's kiss face. She started this about two weeks ago and I seriously cannot get enough! The funniest though is when she's doing this to the dog, who wants anything other than to be kissed, and she just crawls around following her with this face. It makes me bust out every.single.time.

On other less cute and happy news, this coming Monday marks a week before I return back to work. I've never been so excited and sad to do something in my life. I always tell people, if I didn't have such an awesome job, I wouldn't go back. But I do. Not that work is more important than my kids because it isn't and never will be. However, I can't help but always think, god forbid something happened to Fraser, I would have my job to fall back on. I would be able to take care and support my children. That's why I'm going back.

People also inquire about my Etsy shop and why I don't just do that and work from home. A) my shop is only just starting to get busy/busier B) it does not have dental or health benefits for my family and finally C) it's not reliable. I have no idea how many sales I will get in a month so I would have no way of planning, which is a big no no for me being slightly OCD with planning and organizing. I enjoy running my shop and making pretty things for people but it would need to take off a lot more for me to ever consider doing it full time.

It hasn't fully hit me yet that I'm returning to work in just over a week and it probably won't until Ella's birthday weekend (the Saturday before I return). Then I anticipate lots of water works and anxiety to ensue. I love my girls so much and would love nothing more than to stay at home and watch them grow and learn. I've been literally soaking up every last minute with them, taking them outside everyday, doing crafts and lots of cuddles. But it is coming to a end. I will only get to squeeze them for a short time in the mornings and will get home just in time to feed them dinner, bath them and tuck them into bed. I will cherish weekends as it will seem like the only time I'm not rushing around getting things done, where I can sit and play with them. Okay, maybe the water works won't wait until next weekend, sigh.

I'm so lucky and grateful to be these girls momma's. I seriously cannot believe some days that they are mine. That I created them. I carried them for 9 months each. And would do it again in a heartbeat! Love you my sweet Harper and Ella, to the moon and back!

Ella's 10 Month Update

This post is about three weeks too late, but hey! Where do I start with this little fire ball. Ella is finally crawling correctly. She's been doing the army crawl since she was about 7 months old and come to think of it Harper did the exact same thing until about 10 months old. Next is going to be walking and I'm not sure I am ready for that. Ella is so tiny and petite that I think it will freak me out her walking around, looking like a little doll.

It is finally safe to say that we have sleeping at night under control. It has been about a month and a half of her pretty much sleeping through the night. She does still get up at around 4:30/5am to nurse, then goes back to sleep until 7am. I'm totally okay with this. I've said in a previous post, that I am not ready to give that up yet, not until I'm back to work at least! Right now she is teething like crazy and is having a rough time. Her napping is ALL over the place. These past few days she does not want me to put her down..ever. Today after three attempts to put her down in her crib to nap, which normally isn't a issue, and having her scream her head off - I caved and let her nap on my chest. I felt awful for her, that she was so uncomfortable that the only thing she wanted was me. Ugh, I love her. I always try to remind myself during these times that even though it can be frustrating, I will seriously miss the days of her needing me. So when Harper is napping, if Ella wants to nap on me, I'm all for it! After she snoozed on me for about 30 minutes, she was crashed and I was able to slip her in crib where she slept for another hour and a half. Poor babe. Teething must suck which is probably good us adults don't remember it.

Watching these two babes interact together is one of my favourite things ever! They love each other so much it's ridiculous. Harper is always looking out for Ella to the point that it is cuteness overload. 

Ella has learned "more" and "all done" sign language. She knows how to use Harper's magnetic puzzle, which is baffling. She remembers things like crazy, just like her big sister. They are both little smarty pants. 

Ella still nurses in between meals. She isn't giving any signs of wanting to wean off anytime soon, which is fine with me. I nursed Harper until she was 19 months old (right up until I went into labour with Ella) so I'm fine to keep going for as long as we can.

I'm officially at the end of my maternity leave. I return to work June 13th which is both exciting and very sad for me. I'm going to try to soak up every last moment and memory with my girls until then!