Ahh, this little toad. The past three weeks I have finally got decent sleep and that's because Ella has been getting decent sleep at night. We have finally gotten past the point of her waking several times throughout the night and we got there with minimal crying. I'm not a sleep expert and I'm not here to judge others, but both Fraser and I do not believe in the cry it out method. Not for us anyways.
The way we look at it is, our babies are only small for a short period of time - even though sometimes it feels like forever. If Ella wants an extra cuddle at night, I'm going to give it to her. If she's teething and isn't feeling well, resulting in her waking 4 times in the middle of the night, I will go to her. Why? Because one day, one night, she will no longer need me. She will longer have the urge or need to wake up looking for my comfort, because she will be a big girl.
Ella used to be really bad with being restless. She wasn't overtired, but wouldn't know exactly what she wanted to go to sleep. I used to have to go back and forth between nursing her, rocking her and holding her with her head nestled in my neck - before discovering exactly what she wanted to fall asleep. This was frustrating for me, since it would take 30-45 minutes to put her to sleep AND sometimes it seemed it would never end the back and forth. A month ago, I started putting her down in her crib when she got to this point. She was half asleep but super fidgety. I slowly walked out of the room so it didn't seem like I was putting her down and running - and would observe her on the camera. To my surprise the first night I tried this, she fussed (not cried) for 10 minutes and fell asleep on her tummy - which she has never done. I told myself before doing this, that my maximum time would be 10 minutes and at any point she got hysterical, I would go get her.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing and to be honest, I expected her to pop her head up crying at any moment. She didn't. She slept a solid 7 hours straight which she hadn't done since she was under 4 months old - swaddled and in her bassinet next to my bed! The gentle sleeping method is what we chose for both our girls and we've never regretted it even though it can take weeks or months longer than letting them cry it out. I'm bad for going on sleeping forums and reading crying it out horror stories where mom's have been so sleep deprived that they've left their baby to cry for up to 4-5 hours! A baby as young as 5-6 months. This to me is mind boggling. How could you stand, regardless of how tired you are, to listen to your baby cry uncontrollable for even 45 minutes, let alone 4-5 hours. Did these mom's leave their house during this time? Because me, I would be sobbing in the next room (which I'm sure most of them were doing).
Through these forums I learned of a term which is called "Cry it out extinction" which is what I guess I really don't believe in. This is where you put your baby in their crib for the night and you let them cry for as long as it takes for them to fall asleep. Nope, no, no way in hell. Not for me. The cry it out method with check in's I don't think is awful, just not for me and my girls.
Ella goes to bed at about 6:45pm/7pm and will sleep until 4/5am, nurse and go back to sleep until 7am. She went from waking 4-5 times each night to once. Which I don't mind at all! Now her naps during the day are still random. Some days she will nap awesome, other days she has silly 30 minute cat naps.
So what worked for both my girls is I did the gentle sleep method, going in whenever they woke up in the middle of the night - would nurse them then rock them to sleep. During this time (6-8 months), I would work on nursing them for shorter periods of time and rocking them less. I would attempt to put them down in their crib awake but super drowsy (almost fully asleep). If it didn't work, I would pick them up and put them to sleep completely. With Ella, at around 7 months old, she started to fall asleep during her night wakings when I did this, but wouldn't when she was first going to bed or for naps.
Ella now likes being rocked to sleep with her head nestled in my neck when going to sleep for the night and will stay asleep for 9-10 hours.
Things I recommend:
- Halo Sleep Sacks
- Fan
- Noise Machine
- Black out curtains
- A supportive partner/husband
- Lots and lots of patience
Both my girls appeared to be ready at around 8-9 months to fuss a little in their crib to put themselves to sleep - without getting hysterical, only lasting 10 minutes or less. This is the key. For my girls, when they were ready, they transitioned super easy - when I tried earlier than the 8 month mark, I would attempt again a week or two later. The key is not to get discouraged, babies will only sleep better at night when they are developmentally ready with maybe a light push in that direction - some babies taking much longer than others.
For now, I'm going to enjoy my good sleeping baby until her next few teeth start coming in!
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