Emotional

These past few days have been rough. I've pretty much been crying off and on all week. I'm trying desperately to put a brave face on and have fun with the girls but the sadness eventually comes. The other day was beautiful and sunny so I brought the girls in their wagon to the park around the corner from our house. They had an absolute blast. Harper was so excited to go down the slides and to swing on the swings. Ella even loved going down the slide with my help of course. They both had the biggest smiles on their faces going down the slide.

Harper loved walking up and down the stairs like a big girl. She was so proud of herself that she could do it on her own.

She wasn't opposed to stopping to pose for me - she's pretty used to me always taking pictures of her!

Ella bells pretty much hung out with me for the most part since the climbers are surrounded by wood chips - there was no way I was putting her down so she could attempt to eat them, me and my OCD tendencies.

I attempted to put her in the baby swing but would not let her go, she is still so stinky tiny that she looks like she would flip right out of it. She wasn't a big fan anyways. Instead I took turns sitting the girls on my lap to swing on the big swing. Both loved it!

On the way home, Harper always likes to walk part of the way holding my hand, while we pull Ella in the wagon. She gets so excited to hold my hand which always makes me melt. 

Yesterday was especially emotional for me. Ella was having a rough day from the fact that she has two big teeth poking through the gums on the top. She was super attached and would scream out of no where in pain. She spent half of her nap time sleeping on my chest during which I quietly sobbed the entire time. It makes me sad that I won't be here to do that with her next week. If she's not feeling well, I won't be there to snuggle her to sleep. I won't be able to sooth her. 

I get excited about going back to work and then out of no where I'm so sad at the idea of it. Monday is going to be hard for me, I know it will be fine - that they will be fine - but I am going to miss them so much and will be looking forward to seeing them at the end of the day. 

The rest of this week is super busy with finishing up Etsy orders when the girls are in bed, finishing last minute things for Ella's birthday party on Saturday and organizing the house for my return to work. At the end of the day, as long as we are healthy and happy, everything else will works it's self out. There are people who are struggling with much harder things than the dreaded return to work - so I will suck it up and get things done!